Trip photos

Map of Spain

We landed at 9:30pm. The landing was a little bumpy. We were flying Easyjet, the low-cost carrier, so this was understandable.

As we walked off the plane we got our first whiff of Spanish air. It was hot and muggy. Eck, just like Durban in summer. Sticky clothes and sweaty bodies. At least it was better than the cold of London.

We walked off the tarmac and into the airport to get some "Air-conditioning" relief. No luck. The airport temperature monitor read 39 degrees Celsius. Great.

The Barcelona Airport is modern, and very well organised. There is a bus, stopping at each terminal, that takes you right into the centre of Barcelona and more importantly the tourist epicentre, "Las Ramblas" (The Avenue). Cost is equivalent of £2.50 and it takes about 20 minutes. This is quite handy when you consider that some of these low cost airlines drop you miles away from the intended city- case in point: Ryanair flies to "Venice" but drops you out at Treviso, about a 45 minute cab ride from Venice.

...Getting back to the heat issue, take note: Despite the fact that we went at the end of the summer season and it was night time, it was still uncomfortably hot. Once closer to the sea, the sea breeze provided some relief, although the Barcelona architecture fails to let this filter into the buildings. When sleeping we had the fan on setting 4 million (i.e., very cold) and didn't use any blankets.

The heat of the place brings me to an interesting and comical paradox which I have named The "Tities Everywhere" Phenomenon. The term is stolen from Jason, Kerry Power's boyfriend. The phenomenon goes something like this...

The Spaniards dress very conservatively. A throwback from the strong Catholicism in the region, I guess.

Lesson One: Due to the heat, Jax and I were walking around the streets in our beach gear- Jackie with here Bikini top on. A very beachy-touristy sort of street, I might add. Anyway, many a look was cast our way, and despite Jackie's beauty, there were definitely a few looks of inappropriateness. Like we weren't dressed right.

Lesson Two: This was further reinforced when we went on bus ride around the city. Due to the heat we decided to go onto the open upper deck. In an attempt to stop myself melting, literally, and in a vain attempt to acquire a darker shade of my London induced white glow, I took off my shirt. Before the fellow tourists had a chance to get blinded by my reflective skin colour, the bus attendant was yelling, "Bulla, bulla, bulla", or something like that, which I expertly translated into, "Get your shirt back on your touristy twit". I sheepishly put my shirt back on.

Lesson Three: The next day we decided to check out the beach. On arrival we realised what Jason had been telling us. There was literally, billions of "tities everywhere". Jax and I couldn't stop laughing at the contrast between the Street dress and the Beach (un)dress code. Admittedly some of our laughs were at the grannies exposing their "drag along the ground" mamaries, but nonetheless, the contrast was extraordinary to say the least. I never realised 80 year old ladies liked to tan their boobies. Now that's an interesting titbit of information!

..but anyway, you see the paradox.

Accommodation wise we stayed at The Orient, number 45, Las Ramblas- Two Star Superior!! The place was both cheap and well situated, and is more than adequate for the traveller wanting more than a hostel but also wanting to conserve some money. Don't have great expectations of the food though. In fact, just don't expect food.

Although we paid for "breakfast", we were given rolls that if thrown against a wall would leave a large indentation in the masonry (I tested- no jokes); meat that was so processed it tasted like a paper bag; sour milk, masquerading as the yoghurt and petrol in disguise as orange juice. Yuck. Needless to say we didn't have breakfast.

Getting back to the location...I really recommend staying on Las Ramblas if visiting Barcelona. One of the main streets, it is long and has a promenade down the centre of the road, running toward the beach and marina. You could stay elsewhere without too much inconvenience, but Las Ramblas is where all the action is: the tapas bars, the buskers, the beach, the marina, the bus stops and the shops.

Speaking of shops, Jackie spotted something incredible- well she thought so. Judging by her reaction, an innovation on par with Einstein's Theory of Relativity. What was it? A bra with clear straps!! To say I was bowled over would have been a gross overstatement. I looked at her incredulously.

Needless to say this became the raison d'être for us while in Barcelona. For next two days we traversed miles- 14 underwear shops to be exact- to find the "bras with see-through straps". Did you know that Barcelona has more underwear shops per capita than anywhere in the world?

Another interesting titbit: Spanish woman don't have size C boobs (whatever that means!?!). They have size B and size D, but not size C. Anyway, the good news for me is that Jackie found the Holy Grail of Boobies, and we got back to seeing the sights....


...On the second day, we bumped into Jason and Kerry Power (Kerry is a mate from varsity and Westville for those who don't know). This was another funny experience. Walking down the street we heard this girl shouting "spratt! spratt!".

"Cool", I thought, "A Spanish word the same as my surname. Wonder what it means?"

"Spratt!", I heard it again and decided to see who it was paying homage to this spratt thing. To our surprise (and my disappointment that there wasn't a Spanish word equivalent of "spratt") we saw Kerry and Jay. They were en route to Madrid and then Faro (Portugal), but were staying in Barcelona for a couple of days. The two were about a month into their two month tour of Europe and we had accidentally coincided our trip with their stay in the sunny city. A very small world indeed.

We teed up with them later in the evening to experience some of the nightlife. They had been given the low-down on the Sunny City and were bestowing their knowledge on us. Thank the Bill Gates we saw them, as we probably would never have found the beach. I was told it was an hour away and you can't see the beachside from the Marina.

Nightlife Tips:

for touristy nightlife (which is fun to see) go to the marina, The Maremagnum. while for the local nightlife watch for invites handed out along the promenade which give you directions down back alleys. Clubs "22" and "Moogs" are the notables.

A caveat for the local nightlife: These back allies are dangerous. Make sure you go in a group and you will be fine. We walked down one alley (colloquially- by me- known as Satan-central) where we saw a bunch of Craig Lewis' girlfriends (prostitutes) and people shooting up. Scary stuff indeed.

The one night we went out we teamed up with a couple of Ozzie and English backpackers (Kerry and Jay headed back early for smoochies) and set forth to a place called Twin-Stars situated at the marina. Very cheesy, but a lot of fun. Jax and I consumed a whiskey on the rocks each and consequently became slightly inebriated. This allowed us to tolerate the cheesiness and also cleared up my double vision. (For those who don't know, I was suffering from concussion after hitting my head quite hard on the floor. Long and boring story, but basically, alcohol is a cure for double vision.)

Of all the sites to see, the Olympic Stadium, Royal Palace, Gaudi House, Aquarium, Marina, etc., the most intriguing and compulsory "to-do" (for me at least) was the Gaudi Cathedral, named, Sagrada Familia (Church of the Holy Family). Started in 1882, this thing still isn't finished. Is is massive. The place is awesome, in the true sense of the word, and stands eerily juxtaposed against the modern buildings that surround it.

(Atoni Gaudi is one of the more famous architects to have graced this planet, standing along side names such as Frank Lloyd-Wright and Norman Foster, his works have left an indelible mark on Barcelona. I thoroughly recommend you reading up on him if you get time.)

On another edifying note, did you know that Christopher Columbus set sail from Barcelona in search of Eastern Asia? well, he did. During that period (circa 15th century) the Ottoman Turks (Muslims) had overthrown the city of Constantinople (previously held by the Christians) and hence, took control of all the trade routes to Asia. The idea of finding an alternative route to the Asian markets that Marco Polo had found (Circa 14C) was thus popular at the time. What Chris found on his journey, much to his frustration, was the America's, but that's another story. What is interesting from a Spanish point of view is that Italy (his country of birth) and Portugal (the major sea-faring country at the time) both said "no" to financing his plan to discover a sea route to East Asia. The Spaniards also said no initially, but later agreed.

What is also interesting is that in his agreement with the Spanish monarchy (who financed his expedition), he was entitled to 1% of everything he discovered and was to be head of state of all the lands he found. Imagine that, Columbus has a claim to 1% to all of the land and resources on the entire American continent. He would be richer than Bill Gates even! Needless to say, the Spanish monarchy reneged on the agreement.

On a cultural note, the Spanish are fairly friendly bunch and like Italians use sign language as their main from of communication (i.e., wave their arms and hands profusely when talking). They are also firm believers in revelling until all hours of the day. There was many an occasion we were woken by singing and dancing at three or four in the morning.

Although I didn't see first hand, there is also a cultural of phenomenon of "why do things to today when they can be done tomorrow", known a Margena. (Reminds me of the African culture of Neva- "eh, why do sumting today dat we neva 'eff to do"....there I go again, being racist. My mom would be upset. ) Add this to the fact that the country is heavily unionised and run by Socialists, you begin to see why Spain is not exactly an economic powerhouse, but I guess that's what makes it cheap for us to travel there.

Other interesting titbits:

Barcelona the capital of Catalonia, a province of Spain, rivals Madrid as the capital of Spain.
Spain was ruled by dictator General Franco until his death in 1975.
Local currency: Spanish Peseta (colloquially known by Jackie, Kerry , Jason and myself as "potatoes")
There are about 250 "potatoes" to the pound.
There are 13 official languages in Spain. Why? Spain used to be a disparate bunch of "countries" many centuries ago.

Language needed to get by in Barcelona:

gracias: thank you
tapas: covers (means "light meal")
Las Ramblas: The Avenue
Bulla, bulla, bulla: Put your shirt back on you touristy twit.
Spratt: Spratt (some Ozzie-SA hybrid's surname) commonly mistaken for a Spanish word.

...coming soon: Crowded Cities Guide to Iceland.

Disclaimer: No this was not written at work. No, this doesn't take the team of editors and journalists days to do. Yes, I do have better things to do with my time, but figure some of you might enjoy it and perhaps learn something.

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