August, 2000

Trip Photos

Map of Ireland

Ireland rocks. With its beautiful panoramas, very friendly people and copious watering holes, it is a country that should definitely be visited by all.


WHERE TO GO

A definite is the the South West. I suggest starting from West of Cork (perhaps flying into Cork), at a place called Cobh (pronounced Cove) traveling through to Kinsale, then on to Kilarney, doing the ring of Kerry and then going up through to the Dingle peninsula and on to the Cliffs of Mohr.

(Clifton, about half an hour drive east of Galway is also apparently very beautiful, although we didn't get to see it.)

You will need to hire a car to do the place justice otherwise you will be stuck in a city drinking copious amounts of the national beverage- alcohol. Just ask Grog and Spew- apparently there is video evidence. Unfortunately for us, the girls have managed to impose a "boyfriend injunction", preventing viewing of this illicit video.

The car I hired only cost £75 for 3 days which included unlimited mileage and all the obligatory insurance's. This rate was in peak time (over the Easter Weekend) so would imagine it would be even cheaper out of season. Get four people along to share costs and all of a sudden it becomes very economical- even cheaper than the rail.

IRISH CAVEATS

Why are the Irish the butt of all dumb jokes? Well, from my limited experience it seems a little unfair, but I do have a few instances that helped me to better understand this...

No Passports? First instance occurred when we landed in Dublin. When we got to Dublin airport there was a line for EU passport holders and one for non-EU passport holders. The funny thing here is that there was no one checking the EU line. So you could basically just walk into Ireland without a valid passport via the EU line. Thankfully for the Irish, the English maintain and effective screening system on their side. The funniness of this was extended when we were leaving and absolutely no one asked us for our passports. Let me clarify this for you: we were on an international flight and no one checked our passports when we left Ireland.

(My tip to drug dealers: Go to the UK via Ireland, landing in Gatwick and you wont get caught!?!)

"Skewed" Bridges? Yep, you read right. The only country in the world that builds bridges that have turns in them. They then go and stick up signs that say, "Beware of Skewed Bridges". I don't know about you, and I 'aint no Frank Lloyd Wright, but gee, skewed bridges sound like a bad idea from the start, let alone putting them on paper in design format and then going and actually building them. And if you were thinking that it may be a geological necessity, think again. I went over 3 in my time in Ireland and all could have been achieved with a "straight" (like there are different types!?!) bridge. But as I said, I am by no means an expert (maybe my uncle Gerry can explain this one to us??).


THE LANGUAGE

I heard quite a bit of Gaelic from our sightseeing bus driver, but unfortunately could only commit one phrase to memory. The phrase? Ishkar Baar. (Don't quote me on the spelling.) Direct translation: Golden Water. Colloquial meaning: whiskey. Hehehe. Anyone for a bit of Ishkar Baar?


HISTORY LESSON

Do you know why Ireland celebrates St.Pat's Day? The older readers will almost definitely know, but us younger crowd have suffered the effects of "specialisation" which (unfortunately) allowed some of us to totally avoid any form of history lessons throughout our schooling.

For those ignoramuses among us (myself included), St. Patrick was the first person to bring Christianity and to Ireland. Prior to this, the country "practised" paganism- the reverence of many Gods. In bringing Christianity to the Paddy O'Connors, Pat also brought a standardised language (Latin) and education, and thus, intellectual progression. A very significant thing, I'm sure you'll agree...despite the fact that the "skewed" bridges concept raises some questions as to the efficacy of such education.


THE NATIONAL BEVERAGE

Yep, Alcohol. But to be more precise, all Irish would agree that its Guinness.

Some interesting facts about Guinness:

Started by Alfred (Al) Guinness in 1757. That makes it older than "settled" Australia- woooow, no waaay!! Al signed a lease for 9000 years when he bought the company, stipulating that the Guinness Corporation pay a whopping £45 for rent\rates per year for the period of the lease. Think about this: The Guinness Corporation rents 60 acres of land (almost a quarter of the CBD) in the centre of Dublin for a whopping £45 per year!! Al also negotiated another amazing deal for his water supply which runs into the thousands of gallons a day. This he pays an back-breaking £10 per year. When Al bought the company the beer produced was called Porter Ale. A normal golden coloured Ale that was struggling to gain market share. In fact, there were in excess of 1,100 breweries at the time he bought it and Porter had been struggling for many years prior. Needless to say that Al built the brewery into (at one stage) the largest is the world.

The most burning question that all of you should be asking is: "Why is Guinness black?" Well the short answer to this is- burnt hops.

The longer story is that the former owner of Porter Ale accidentally burnt the hops on a large batch of ale. Being a very competitive market (there something like 1100 brewers at the time), he couldn't afford to throw the batch away so he sent it into London and sold it cheaply in the markets. The beer became so popular among the poor masses, that when Al bought the company he decided to make it a stock product, which is known as Guinness today.


IRELAND'S OTHER CLAIMS TO FAME

Waterford Crystal: We have all heard about and know that it is most valued glass product in the world. You know, all those fancy glass trophies that the tennis players hold up at presentations? That's the stuff. The interesting part about the Crystal is the people who make it.

There are 3 trades that are involved in making the crystal: Cutter, Blower and Engraver. Both the Blower and Cutter require an 8 year apprenticeship, while the Engraver requires 10 years!!! Yes, you have read right, longer than a doctor and as long as a a fricken Neuro Surgeon.

Oh and the ovens they use take 6-8 years to heat up to the right temperature. So it is no surprise that the current oven has been burning for 32 years!!

Quality is their hallmark, hence the length of training required, but furthermore the rejection rate for the crystal products is over 25%, which if you ask any logistics expert (Yianni will vouch) is very, very high. They also have a policy of not selling any seconds. All adding to the allure of these fancy glass objects.

Blarney Castle: The famous castle in Blarney that houses the Blarney Stone, said to pass on oratory gifts to anyone who kisses the stone. The stone is on the fourth level of the castle and you have to almost hang upside down to kiss the thing. Very touristy, but hey, I now have the "gift of the gab" after kissing the stone.

Dingle Peninsula: Translated as "a small wooded valley", the Dingle Peninsula is the western most point of Europe. This place possesses such rich beauty that it is a must see and for the surfers among us, some of the best surf in Ireland- although, a 5 mm fullsuit is required with a hood and booties in summer, hmmm. The words, raw, untouched and magical describe this place. A must see.

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